


My heart will stay with you

by britishbossy



Category: Victoria (TV 2016), Victoria (itv)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Forbidden Love, Older Man/Younger Woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-17 00:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8124148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britishbossy/pseuds/britishbossy
Summary: Fix-it for the scene at Brocket Hall after Victoria tells Lord M how she feels about him."Tell me you don't love me", she whispered sadly. “Say, I don't love you, and I shall never speak of this matter again“.He opened his eyes slowly as if waking up from a dream. Then, he leant back, breaking their precious contact.





	

My heart will stay with you

 

They stood so close to each other. He was holding her hands in his, his warmth reaching her skin through the fabric of her gloves. His fingers reached out to stroke her bare arm, briefly touching her skin and she shivered. Victoria had just told him that he was the only man she would ever want by her side and he had said nothing in return yet. But here he was, touching her in such an intimate way, his grey-green eyes fixed on their joined hands.

“Did you know that...that rooks mate for life?“, he asked quietly and she couldn't remember hearing him sound so sad before. It was not the answer she desired, also she failed to see why he brought up the birds once more. But she felt that he was not finished, so she let him continue.

“Every year they build their nest together. Renewing all this little civilities that make a marriage sparkle. And I think we could learn much from them. If I had just spent more time watching the rooks, my wife would have felt more attended to..“

“She should never have left you“, she interrupted, feeling anger for that woman who had been so foolish to leave him. She could not imagine doing that to him. How could one be so cruel and so silly altogether at the same time? He looked up at her words, his eyes full of regret and sorrow. Victoria felt the deep need to comfort him, to make him feel better and finally forgive himself. Why would he not let her?

“I would never do such a thing“, she added softly and truthfully. No, she would never leave her Lord M. His features softened and he looked at her with more adoration than ever. It made her breath falter and her heart kept on beating wildly. He smiled carefully, his eyes moving over her face.

“No“, he agreed softly. “I believe when you give your heart it will be without hesitation“. She could not look away from his eyes. She felt captivated by them, wishing to drown in those depths.

He leant a little closer to her and for a brief second she thought he would kiss her. His expression turned serious while the wind blew through his hair. _Just one more step_ , she thought. One more step and their faces would touch.

“But you cannot give it to me“, he said in earnest but the tone of his voice betrayed him. It sounded more like desperation than conviction.

“I think you have it already“, she breathed, clinging to this final hope she held that he might realise what he meant to her. His eyes went to her lips and stayed there for too long. Her heart pounding rapidly in her chest, she took a tiny step closer. He didn't move. “No“, he said, his voice more hoarse then she had ever heard it. “You must keep it intact for someone else.“ She could hear that the words were almost choking him although he tried to smile it away.

His eyes found hers again and she couldn't hold back her tears any longer. How could he say that? How could he even think that she might as much as look at anyone else? She turned her hands around his so that it was her holding his now. He watched her movements carefully but he did not pull away.

“Do you not know what you mean to me?“, she asked, searching his gaze once more. Lord M gave her a quick glance and his stare was so intense that it almost caught her off balance. Her breath faltered when she gave his hands a gentle squeeze...and he returned it. He said nothing, so she went on: “All my life I've been told what to do. Sir John, my mother, uncle Cumberland, all of them. And neither of them did only believe for one moment that I could be a decent queen. All they do is critisising and underestimating me, waiting for me to make a mistake.“

The young woman paused, searching his gaze for understandment and found it there, right in his grey-green eyes.

“You never did that“, she added and his features softened at her words. It made her heart beat only harder. By now it nearly hurt.

“You are the only person to believe in me and you would never doubt me because I'm a woman. You're my advisor, my friend,...my companion.“ Once more she gave his hands a gentle squeeze. It brought a smile to his face. Oh, that smile. It got her every time, made her forget everything around her and her knees weak.

“Why would I ever need anyone else but you?“, she whispered and for a moment she forgot how to breathe as he rested his forehead against hers gently. They were closer now then ever before. She could feel his breath on her skin and it made her want to reach out for him but she found that she couldn't. She was paralised, overwhelmed by his scent surrounding her. She wanted to stay like this forever. The tension between them stretched out. It was unbearable and yet wonderful. She never wanted it to end. It was everything she'd ever dreamt of.

After a few moments, he spoke: “You are still so young...“

She got closer, their faces only inches apart now.

“I know what I feel“, she pressed. Then it came to her mind that he had never spoken of his feelings. Did he need her as badly as she needed him? Opening her eyes, she found his closed tightly, his expression a painful one.

“Don't you feel the same way?“, she dared to ask, almost fainting from fear.

“I am your prime minister.“ His voice seemed to waver.

“Tell me you don't love me“, she whispered sadly. “Say, I don't love you, and I shall never speak of this matter again“.

He opened his eyes slowly as if waking up from a dream. Then, he leant back, breaking their precious contact. It almost had her wince in protest. His eyes washed over her face, looking for something she couldn't tell. He let his hands drop, letting go of her and she was about to sink down for her body felt like breaking. He did not want her. Oh, how foolish she had been. What a silly girl she was! Certainly, he must feel pity for her. Lord Melbourne gave her one more doubtful look before he said:

“I am sorry, ma'am. But you would hear a lie.“

Victoria blinked. Had he really just said it? All of a sudden she became aware of their close proximity once more. He had not moved away from her, still standing so near she could feel his breath on her lips.

“I love you in every way I should not“, he breathed.

_He loved her._ The realisation hit her like a wave hit the shores and she raised her chin.

“Kiss me.“

“Ma'am -“

“As a woman. I'm asking you as a woman, not as your queen.“

Something flashed inside his eyes. In one slow movement he reached forward, one hand on the back of her neck, the other around her waist, pulling her in gently. In the next moment she felt his lips on hers and blinked once more in surprise before closing her eyes. His lips were warm and soft, moving gently against hers. It felt like a dream. Her blood was rushing loudly in her ears and her heart was racing like mad. She felt like flying, she felt like dying. Becoming aware of the fact that it was really happening, she did her best to respond even though she had never kissed a man before.

Lord Melbourne pulled back and looked at her briefly before placing short, fleeting kisses on her lips, barely giving her time to catch on. It left her breathless. She wished for more. Letting her arm come around his bare neck blindly she leant in and kissed him back. The feeling of her skin against his was almost too much and a whimper escaped her lips, caught by his mouth. He pulled her even closer in response and kissed her deeper. Everything seemed to stop right there. It was just him and her and they were out of time. Her knees wobbled and she felt that she was about to fall before he put both of his arms around her petite form and lifted her off her feet without breaking their kiss. Victoria gasped softly at his actions and suddenly wished to be able to touch him freely. Skin on skin. She needed to feel him, needed to feel his warmth, the movements of his muscles. She needed to know what it felt like. Tightening her arms around his neck for hold, she broke the kiss to look at him. His eyes were wide, caught somewhere between desire and fear.

“William“, she breathed and moved her fingers through his hair.

“Victoria...“

“I love you“.

He hesitated briefly before he answered: “I love you“.

 

 


End file.
